HAVE YOU WRAPPED any gifts yet? Or are you putting it off until the very last minute because the experience is so harrowing?
Us too. It’s hard being a shite present wrapper.
1. You’ve considered not buying a particular gift, all because it wasn’t perfectly rectangular
It’s not worth the heartache.
2. But even so, you know you still won’t be able to wrap a rectangular present nicely
3. Sellotape hands
You spent hours with two fingers stuck together back in 2013. That was a particularly bad year.
4. Sellotape face
Y’know when you need both your hands but you also need somewhere to keep your bit of sellotape, so you stick it to your face? Yeah. You shouldn’t have done that.
5. Actually injuring yourself while wrapping
Paper cuts, scissor jabs, the sting of ripping sellotape off your hands… It’s really dangerous, you know.
6. Never knowing the joy of the scissors gliding through the wrapping paper
How could you, when your wrapping paper always ends up looking like this?
7. Loving gift bags like you would love a child
Gift bags are a great idea. Why can’t we just all use gift bags?
8. Finishing the wrapping, then realising your present is now 90% tape
9. The disappointment of seeing your present in amongst the others under the tree, like an ugly lump
IT’S THE INSIDE THAT COUNTS.
10. And actively campaigning against fancy wrapping whenever you get the chance
“Why would you bother your arse doing that? It all gets ripped off anyway.” You’re not bitter. Not in the least.
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